tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post302233296874737560..comments2023-11-02T09:08:09.242-07:00Comments on <i>Daddy Dialectic</i>: Notes on children and violenceJeremy Adam Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11733669114207985920noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-27066798055085005472009-04-09T07:04:00.000-07:002009-04-09T07:04:00.000-07:00Tysdaddy: Ha! I love it. I don't know (right n...Tysdaddy: Ha! I love it. I don't know (right now) of any research about role-playing games in particular, but everything I know about fantasy play says that no, it will not all on its own lead to real-world violence, especially if an authority figure (like the parent) is actively discussing the morality of the play violence. The bottom line (I'm starting to believe) is to get kids thinking about consequences, to use the violent play as another opportunity to stimulate empathic thinking. From that point of view, I think it's fantastic that you play D&D with your kids and that you talk with them about the violence in the game.Jeremy Adam Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11733669114207985920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-38445670389522753562009-04-08T16:38:00.000-07:002009-04-08T16:38:00.000-07:00I'm curious . . . In all your research on this...I'm curious . . . In all your research on this topic, have you come across anything definitive regarding violent tendencies in children or teens who engage in roleplaying games like Dungeons & Dragons? We are gamers, and we've always enforced the house rule that characters are good, and the violence they do, via die rolls, are for the sake of the good. We've had some interesting discussions spawn from our tabletop sessions . . .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-849257532098996192009-03-27T15:58:00.000-07:002009-03-27T15:58:00.000-07:00ps love the comment "you think too much"!!ps love the comment "you think too much"!!Chipnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-85457876097015299332009-03-27T15:57:00.000-07:002009-03-27T15:57:00.000-07:00dang that facebook!! It can be a time sink...dang that facebook!! It can be a time sink...Chipnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-38913533825477882512009-03-25T10:46:00.000-07:002009-03-25T10:46:00.000-07:00Well, I am certainly not one to ever criticize any...Well, I am certainly not one to ever criticize anyone for thinking too much.<BR/><BR/>I love how thought-provoking this post is. As a mom to three girls, I'm not sure where I fall on all of this. I did find the Achilles example particularly insightful. I've also noticed that my middle daughter is, in some ways, more comfortable playing with boys because there is less artifice (even in 2nd grade). With boys, she can be rough, they can play together, fight together, get upset with each other and it's all over in five minutes. This cycle often does not apply to playing with a group of girls.<BR/><BR/>It was also interesting to read your post and some of the comments and realize that some of what others might characterize as violent play, I would just see as playing. Where I get queasy and uncomfortable is with guns. It's one thing to push each other around, it's another to introduce a man-made weapon into the game. But I have three girls, so this hasn't been a huge issue.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for thinking things through online.WordGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06204055870484888440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-58885159382379561452009-03-24T21:19:00.000-07:002009-03-24T21:19:00.000-07:00Another great, thought-provoking post. (And I gave...Another great, thought-provoking post. (And I gave up Facebook after one week. I loved it too much. It was such a time drain.)<BR/><BR/>My four-year-old son is so different from his sister when she was four. His favorite form of play right now is Super Heroes Smashing Bad Guys to Smithereens. We do this with stuffed animals, playmobil, cars, blades of grass, whatever he can find. I feel okay about the smashing, because I believe that play is sacred and should not be infringed upon, (as suggested by Bruno Bettleheim, I believe.) <BR/><BR/>But I start having a hard time when he wants to shoot bad guys with guns. (When he points a stick at me and "pows" me, I pretend to get wet...as if it were a water gun. Umm...yeah, right mom.)<BR/><BR/>I also took a Children's Literature course about 15 years ago and the main thing I remember is that (according to some psychologists) children need those stories - the ones where the good guys are really good, the bad guys are really bad (no shades of gray), and there is significant (even deadly) recompense for acts of villianry. <BR/><BR/>And it's best if a dragon's head gets cut off...the gorier, the more firmly planted in a child's mind is the the moral.<BR/><BR/>Also, I can't recall where I read about this, but when kids witness acts of extreme violence (more often in inner cities, but can happen anywhere, of course), the kids often play out the horrible scenes, which become the favorite recess-time games played over and over and over. Psychologists say this is therapy for them. They work out their issues through play.<BR/><BR/>Funny thing about my little guy...he adores babies and has been asking for one for the past year. (Sorry, kid. Not happening.)<BR/><BR/>He's also very soft and gentle with my friends' toddlers - even when they grab toys from him or smash something he's building. He might get upset, but he never acts out against them. (His sister, of course, is another story....)Variations On A Themehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999890261136824148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-50662992304986364862009-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:002009-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:00"you think too much"Guilty!"Children just want to ..."you think too much"<BR/><BR/>Guilty!<BR/><BR/>"Children just want to be loved."<BR/><BR/>True enough. And yet it's still the case that parents and teachers routinely struggle with how to respond to play violence and actual violence. Some people just try to banish it from their homes and classrooms; others use it to teach moral lessons. People struggling with these issues, myself included, need to talk them through.Jeremy Adam Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11733669114207985920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-39124713267975005852009-03-24T16:33:00.000-07:002009-03-24T16:33:00.000-07:00I came across this blog... you think too much, ( "...I came across this blog... you think too much, ( "...he will grow up with an antiquarian passion for consuming media in obsolete formats."). Children just want to be loved. It's not that complicated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-6786921310985428432009-03-24T12:29:00.000-07:002009-03-24T12:29:00.000-07:00Very interesting set of aphorisms and inferences.T...Very interesting set of aphorisms and inferences.<BR/><BR/>The Golden Rule in this case, to me, is #12. If all you remember is that, I think you're three quarters to home base.<BR/><BR/>I'm hoping it works in other areas, like if Spot sees me reading a newspaper -- which he does regularly -- he will grow up with an antiquarian passion for consuming media in obsolete formats. Same with books. <BR/><BR/>Hopefully none of these are destined to share the same fate as Beijing Opera or medieval jousting.chicago pophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17055796523227869734noreply@blogger.com