tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post2369211156707253319..comments2023-11-02T09:08:09.242-07:00Comments on <i>Daddy Dialectic</i>: Social Capital: Do Dads Have it?Jeremy Adam Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11733669114207985920noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-68794044122125893892007-07-24T17:44:00.000-07:002007-07-24T17:44:00.000-07:00Just this morning, I saw a dad sitting at a lesser...Just this morning, I saw a dad sitting at a lesser-used playpark, facing about 90 degrees away from his daughter, who was in a swing facing away from him. There was one other mom with a child in the park. the dad was reading the paper. Don't get me wrong; there are times when this could be a great relief and opportunity to relax. As you may have noticed from an earlier post, "The Zen of Strolling," I'm not always inclined to go dive into the mix myself. I like a lot of the solitude that caregiving brings. But I do recognize my own "masculine diffidence", if I may put it that way, and that it's something I will have to occasionally tamp down if I want to stay plugged in to the wealth of info in mom networks. Which will mean going to the standing-room only playpark, instead of the sleepy one down the street.chicago pophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17055796523227869734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-15318282515011034952007-07-24T15:12:00.000-07:002007-07-24T15:12:00.000-07:00As a dad, I definitely feel a bit "on the outs" at...As a dad, I definitely feel a bit "on the outs" at the park when The Moms are hanging out together and chatting. I don't think it's a huge handicap, however. Yes, you probably can't enter a friendly conversation as easily, but when Moms are talking "business" (schools, child care, toys, activities), it's easy to butt in and get involved. Neighborhood and parenting listserves have made it even easier for Dads to take initiative and ask for advice or pick up that cheap bag of clothes.<BR/><BR/>I think it's less about Moms' willingness than it is Dads' skill sets. As gender would lead us to expect, Moms seem to approach each other easily, while Dads have a hard time breaking silence and relating over the sand box. It's always easier for me to talk to Moms, since they expect it and understand the "culture" of parenting in society. It's also a safe assumption that the Mom you're approaching is the primary caregiver and a holder of knowledge and skills. I mean, who doesn't recognize the Saturday Morning Scene at the plaground, where all the dads collect for their "babysitting" while Mom sleeps in? Under those circumstances, what capital is there to really get, anyway?<BR/><BR/>When it's necessary and I really can't turn "park friends" into "playdaters," I bring in Amy to make the initial connection and then go on from there.Justin Hornerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14556169052237150457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23363296.post-77702146968770780422007-07-23T16:47:00.000-07:002007-07-23T16:47:00.000-07:00This is a fascinating topic to me, and you've brou...This is a fascinating topic to me, and you've brought an original perspective to it. My own family struggled mightily to rebuild our social capital after Liko was born. About 18 months ago, we made it a real priority -- this blog was product of that period. And I think our efforts paid off in many, many ways.<BR/><BR/>I have empirical studies coming out of my ears these days. Here's one relevant to this discussion: When University of Texas researcher Aaron Rochlen and his team recently studied 213 stay-at-home fathers, they found that social support seemed to be the most important factor that predicted the psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction of the dads. “Social support seemed important in several different contexts—with their partner, friends, and family,” writes Rochlen. “Conversely, those who had low social support in these areas seemed to be struggling more in their relationships and in life.”Jeremy Adam Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11733669114207985920noreply@blogger.com